Most married couples fight about finances. Money is not the root of all evil, but it sure starts a lot of marital arguments. The same is true of those who live together but have not said vows and exchanged rings 5 Money Questions.
Most people avoid talking about money matters just as they do politics and religion. It is the one topic you should discuss early in your relationship so you have no problems.
Let me talk straight to the other women for a moment. Most players will have no good answer to any of these questions. If he tries to blow off the conversation, or laugh it off, or “Aww, baby,” his way out of it, kick him out. That is all. Do not support him in the manner to which he would like to become accustomed.
Now, unsavory women exist, too. I try to steer guy friends away from them. A woman will typically pooh-pooh the need to discuss these matters. She might say, “We can talk about that once we are married.” Another line you might get is, “I’m too early in my career/life to have to think about that.” Run. Run the other way now.
Ultimately, you need a prenuptial agreement to protect both of you. Prenups are your friend.
So, bring up the topic of finances. Valentine’s Day provides the perfect timing because you spend time together romantically. You probably think pretty seriously about this person if you celebrate that holiday together. Open the discussion and ask these five vital questions.
They should score 100 – 20 points per question or at least an 80. This lets you agree on spending from the beginning so you do not become like the individuals in Cashry’s study. Rather than needing to read Take a Loan to Finance Your Wedding, you can end up the couple that pays for it in full so you begin wedded bliss without debt.
What is the biggest money mistake you ever made and how did you fix it?
Their answer tells you so much. If they say they never made a money mistake, they either never had any or they are lying. This reveals their veracity. If they say they have not fixed it yet nor have they started to fix it yet and it is more than two months old, mark this question wrong. Dock them 20 points. If they admit to their mistake and they rectified it, they get 20 points.
Which do you prioritize most: having things now, saving for later in life, or both equally?
The ideal answer is the latter. They want to live well now and save for later in life. This means they prioritize equally and plan for their future. You can tell if they tell the truth about prioritizing now.
You probably have seen where they live, their furniture, their groceries, their clothes, their car, how they care for their pets if they have them, etc. You might not know the status of their savings for the future, but it is really tough to just talk a good game. They will trip up if they lie.
This question lets you better understand each other. You will fight once married if one of you wants nice things now, but the other wants to save to live lavishly once retired. Discuss it now openly so you understand the other person.
If you are both the type who spends on the now and the future, you should have an easier time in marriage. If you both think the same, the partner gets 20 points; if you do not, they lose 20 points.
What do you abhor about the way others manage their money?
Everyone has that one friend they cringe over. Describe that person. Maybe it is someone who always forgets their wallet so you have to pay. Maybe they have never paid a bill on time. Perhaps you have that friend who spends all their money on clothes or booze or collectibles, etc. then never has money to go out.
If they describe a person who genuinely spends money carelessly, such as the friend who stocks up on alcohol, they cannot pay their cell phone bill, they get 20 points. They lose 20 points if they describe someone who simply prioritizes differently than they do, such as someone who only pays their bills and puts the rest into savings and investments rather than going out.
The former shows that they understand budgeting and can recognize when even those closest to them make a mistake; the latter shows intolerance of other people’s priorities.
How old were you when you opened your first savings account, checking account, and investment account?
They should be able to spit these out in rapid-fire order like 10, 16, 32. (Those are mine. Ideally, they would not wait as long as I did on the investment account, but I prioritized credit card repayment and college loan repayment plus I was in grad school.
Do not use my example, therefore.) Ideally, they would have started their savings in grade school, their checking in high school, and their investment account in their 20s. Your potential mate’s answers should show they thought about good money management from a young age.
They get 20 points for having all three accounts; they lose 20 points if they do not have all three. No wiggle room on this one. Your partner needs to plan for the now and the future.
What categories do you have in your personal budget?
This helps you determine if they told the truth in question two and if you would spend on the same things. If they say they have no budget, they lose completely. Zero points. They lose all 20 points. Someone like that would ruin both of your credit and that just cannot happen.
If they only name off rent, utilities, car payment, or bus/subway pass, but they told you they spend on the now, you two must go on some amazing dates. They get 10 points, but they do not sound fun. They should include entertainment, clothes, health, insurance, and at least one hobby. They should also mention savings and investments as budget categories. These people get 20 points.
Now, you have to answer each one as well. This needs to be an open and completely honest discussion, not an interrogation. Do not mention the scoring. Just a tip. How did you do answering the questions?
Be honest with yourself. If you scored 80 to 100, good job. Scoring 60 means you have a little work to do. Scoring 40 or less means you need to join those on-the-cusp people in reading the Goalry brand of publications so you can start managing money better.
You can do that together. Start with Budgetary and build your budgets. You might also try making a faux budget for fun that combines both of your current salaries. Doing this lets you play with the notion of how you would spend money as a couple before you actually do. As long as you remain honest with each other, you can learn together.
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